A few years ago I wrote a post about being JUICY (Are you juicy? – June 2011), and I published it again here on this blog on Sunday. I am finding these days that being juicy just isn’t enough.
1. Having or showing exuberance and strong determination
2. Touchy and aggressive
Juicy seems to be the first part of the definition of feisty. I thought it would be enough to get me through life with a smile on my face. These days I think I need to go to Step Two: Touchy and Aggressive. Except I don’t really think it is about being either Touchy or Aggressive, I think it is more about being honest and saying it the way it is.
I keep finding myself in situations where I WANT to say:
“You are going to talk to me like that and think I believe a word you are saying?
“It has been three months since you got back to me, and now you are saying you want to work with me because business is a little tougher for you and you need my business?
“You told me one thing last week and this week you are telling me something completely different and pretending that you never even had that conversation with me?”
And you know what?
I AM SAYING IT EXACTLY THE WAY IT IS!
I am being respectful and honest and only using the F-word in my head (that is F-U-C-K and not F-E-I-S-T-Y) but interestingly enough the response is quite refreshing. Well actually there is a lot of stuttering at first, long pauses at the other end of the phone, and many lines of apologies in the e-mails with closings that have gone from “Kind regards” to “Let’s talk soon!”. The end result is a stronger relationship and the knowledge (and relief) that both sides may be straight up with whatever they need to say.
Here is my advise on being FEISTY:
1. Listen to what that voice in your head is telling you – that you are being given a line, played with, or given the run around.
2. ALWAYS BE RESPECTFUL, POLITE AND HONEST IN WHAT YOU SAY. Remember, you don’t want to play their game or be mean or rude or condescending.
3. Ease into feistiness. It is a bit addictive, once you start; it’s hard to stop.
4. Start with being JUICY. If you haven’t mastered that you will never be able to be FEISTY!
Have a FEISTY day!
I heard this a few years ago at a conference called The Power Within from a woman named Loretta Laroche. She is an acclaimed speaker, consultant, author & TV personality who gives talks and makes us laugh at ourselves. Or at least she made me laugh at myself. She spent the hour on stage talking about stress and what we do and don’t do to make it better and how humour can help in our lives. If any of you have seen or heard her I know that you laughed even if you did your best not to as I saw many of the men in the audience ‘trying’ to do. Us men are always the last to give in. “I am not going to laugh, she is not really funny…..” and then we finally let out a guffaw from holding in all the laughter.
There are three things that I took away from her talk:
1. Don’t take life or yourself so seriously. Get rid of that pinched up, not smiling, I know it all face and laugh a little.
2. This I do every morning. I come down the stairs, okay, sometimes I bound down the stairs when I am in an especially good mood and jump into the dining room, throw my arms into the air and say, “TA DA!” What that means is: “Here I am world, get ready for me. Watch out because I am right around the corner!” If you don’t think that starts my day on a positive note I can tell you!
3. BE JUICY. That’s right. Next time someone says, and someone will say this to you every day: “How are you?” Mind you half the time they are not really listening or seem to realize they are even asking. Look them straight in the eye and say, “I AM JUICY!”
Is life not filled with so much joy and laughter and possibility, is it not really JUICY!
“BUT…” you say, “I have problems, I have all kinds of things going on in my life, I I I……” You know what I am going to say to all of that: STOP IT!
So next time, someone says, “How are you?”
Answer, “I am JUICY!”
What is the worst that can happen?
1. They laugh.
2. You laugh.
3. They look at you funny and laugh.
4. They look at you funny and you laugh. Get the picture? So far none of the above seems like a bad thing to me.
Have a JUICY day!